Texts from Jane Eyre Read online

  want to come??

  oh are you guys still doing that?

  well its not like a rental but we know a guy who says we can

  use his boat and he’s super cool

  when are you leaving?

  mmm idk lemme check

  okay

  oh also

  we don’t have any sleeping space left on the yacht

  but we’re just gonna take peyote the whole way there so you won’t even need a bed

  just art

  you know?

  how long does it take to sail to Croatia

  haha omg

  holy shit

  so i just talked to Dan and we’re like

  halfway there already i guess

  you guys already left?

  haha i know right

  that’s so fucked up

  i don’t even remember leaving

  we’re like

  somewhere in the fucking ocean right now

  wow

  u should come over

  come over to the ocean?

  hell yes

  hell yes come to the ocean

  it’s gonna be amazing

  oh and when you come can you bring food and also money for food

  and also some money for tickets?

  i didnt bring any of my stuff with me

  where are you in the ocean?

  ahh i gotta go they’re opening the keg

  see u sooooooon

  ahh, Peter

  Peter, my old friend Peter

  you’ve come back to see me at last

  I fear I have grown a great deal since the last time we met

  oh ahhh sorry did i wake u up

  I am a woman now, and an old woman at that

  im literally not even here ok

  i just like

  you said to come by if i ever needed anything

  and i just needed to borrow some money for a thing

  Well, of course, Peter

  anything you need

  I’ll get my pocketbook

  oh no dont worry i already

  its fine ive got what i need

  come into the drawing room and talk with me a while, Peter

  um

  is your skin still doing that folding thing

  I am old

  I have wrinkles now

  yeah haha

  ew

  to be super honest hospitals freak me out

  so i don’t think i can stay real long

  it’s not a hospital, Peter

  I am old but I am not dying

  right right

  well

  i can’t come in the house cos i haven’t been invited

  Oh

  ahh sorry but thats like how my powers work

  Is that not true of vampires?

  well yeah

  vampires and me too

  I invite you in, Peter

  I invite you

  Come sit with me and talk a while

  ahhh sorry new phone who is this

  The Great Gatsby

  Part II

  Hi Nick

  Daisy

  what time is it?

  mmm

  Late

  where are you?

  You

  You are going to laugh at this

  am I really

  well obviously not if you choose to be a dick about it

  you probably won’t laugh then

  but I can’t help that

  what do you want

  i need a ride

  where are you

  remember that valley with ashes in it

  I remember

  basically just there

  I’m leaving now

  oh also

  you should call the police

  somebody’s dead here

  somebody’s dead?

  who’s dead?

  dead from what?

  oh i don’t know

  we weren’t close or anything

  looks like they’ve been hit by a car

  would that be your car, do you think?

  can’t say

  hard to tell

  definitely A car, though

  tell you what

  you just come out here and get me

  and somebody else can call the police

  Part IV

  Sweet Valley High

  Jess are you there?

  yeah I’m here

  Where were you?

  what do you mean

  Did you not get any of my texts?

  no

  The Sweet Sixteen people were here

  for the interview about the fundraiser

  they already came?

  you weren’t here

  so I tried to do the best I could without you

  Oh I know I was awful

  I’m sure they won’t print anything I said

  I’m so sorry you couldn’t make it

  hey Liz

  Yeah?

  do you ever catch anything

  when you’re fishing

  for compliments

  oh my god

  oh my god they’re not moving, Jess

  I think they’re both dead

  Jesus Christ God

  they’re dead, they’re dead

  the car flipped and nobody’s moving

  oh my god

  well

  you wouldn’t spike the punch like I asked!!

  so I had to spike it myself

  WHAT DID YOU PUT IN IT

  ohhh my godddd i don’t KNOW

  something from a jar??

  haha i mean booze obviously

  booze from a jar

  but i don’t knooooww

  that’s why I asked you to do it

  I would never have helped you if I knew you were going to do

  something like this

  then I guess you don’t have what it takes to be

  Jungle Prom Queen

  which

  is that the same thing as regular prom queen?

  haha what kind of school has two proms

  anyhow I thought Bruce looked crazy hot tonight

  do you think he has a date for the next prom?

  Bruce is dead

  they’re all dead

  yeah he didn’t look that good tonight I guess

  Oh, Jess

  I hate New York sometimes

  I miss Sweet Valley so much

  oh my god I know

  they don’t even have a Dairi Burger there!!!

  what kind of a city

  It’s just so empty

  Like this morning at the coffee shop

  I really felt like the interaction I had with the waitress

  when I asked if they had any stevia

  lacked authenticity

  I sure wish this news internship were over already

  but who knows when they’ll be done having news here

  haha remember Mom

  I knew you’d understand, anyhow

  remember Dad

  what happened to them

  where do they go all the time

  Jess

  Jess where are you

  haha what

  the pep rally is in a few minutes and we need you for the pyramid

  oh that

  something tells me we’re not going to be cheering much tonight

  what do you mean

  let’s just say

  we won’t have to worry about those jerks at Big Mesa anymore

  Jessica what did you do?

  let’s just say their plans to trash

  the field after the big game have

  “gone up in smoke”

  Jessica

  what did you do

  let’s just say their “gym”

  is “on fire”

  with SVH spirit

  hey do you want to go to the Dairi Burger?

  I’m all hungry

  and covered in ash

  The Outsiders

  hey
how do you pronounce “Soc”

  What?

  i mean is it like “sock”

  because it looks like that’s how you’d say it

  but in my head I think of it as being pronounced “soash”

  huh

  like rhymes with cloche

  I guess that makes sense

  why do I even know what a cloche is

  what kind of a gang is this

  what do you mean

  i mean i feel like we’re different from other gangs

  different how

  i don’t know i guess

  we’re just a bunch of regular beautiful guys who like to

  read poetry and get in knife fights

  yeah

  yessir

  nothing like putting your hair in place

  stabbing a rich guy

  then talking about Robert Frost in an attic with another guy

  if that’s different, then i guess i’m different

  no you’re right

  man you know who i hate

  who

  guys with green eyes

  or i guess

  MOST guys with green eyes

  would you say my eyes are greenish-gray, or grayish-green

  i don’t know

  your eyes are icy blue, so they’re always icy blue

  but sometimes my eyes are more greenish-gray than

  grayish-green

  which i think is better

  huh

  hey do you want to come over and watch the sunset

  yeah okay

  i guess so

  okay great

  i mean it’s the same sunset as the one at your house

  so don’t expect anything big

  i won’t

  i really think they’re more grayish-green right now than

  anything else

  yeah maybe

  not green like Darry’s anyhow

  they’re green like ice, but bluer than that

  I really need to update my eye color journal

  your what?

  see you soon for the sunset!!!

  so what did you think

  what did i think of what

  what did you think of all the drawings of Dally i sent you

  oh yeah

  do you think he’ll like them?

  do you think they’re any good

  there sure are

  a lot of them

  do you think i made his eyes look enough like blue ice

  that was really what i was going for

  because his eyes look like blazing blue ice

  i definitely think you did

  oh good

  i was kind of worried

  that they didn’t look enough like blue ice that’s blazing

  no, they’re–

  you did a really good job

  they’re really nice

  well i wanted to do something special for his birthday

  and it was either this or a switchblade

  and i figured everyone else was already getting him a switchblade

  right

  what’s a guy gonna do with six switchblades, you know?

  yeah

  such a thing as too many switchblades

  anyhow i’m glad you think they’re good

  yeah

  you want one?

  oh

  i think i’m okay

  i can draw you one real fast

  it won’t take two minutes

  no i’m okay

  i’ll draw you one just in case

  his eyes look like blue ice

  blue ice!

  you awake?

  yeah

  what’s wrong?

  i had that dream again

  oh

  that dream where i got the haircut

  that was the worst day of my life, the day Johnny cut my hair

  remember?

  yeah i remember

  if a guy doesn’t have his silky reddish-blonde hair

  that’s just a little redder than Soda’s and swirls just right

  well what kind of a guy is he?

  i don’t know

  plus it was real sad when Johnny died, too

  yeah

  died before his hair could even grow back

  i remember

  his hair looked terrible when he died

  i was embarrassed to even go to the funeral

  yeah me too

  The American Girl Series

  nellie

  nellie why didnt u come to the hedge today

  to the lessons hedge )for lessons)

  I’m sorry, Miss Parkington

  I wasn’t able to get away in time and

  i was going to teach you more lessons

  is this about my birthday party

  are u mad at me

  no Samantha…

  because i told you

  its not that youre not my friend

  you are my friend

  I’m glad to be your friend

  u are just more of my FACTORY friend

  and not really

  my “birthday party” friend

  I understand

  I couldn’t get away from the mill

  that’s all

  guess how many kinds of ice cream we had

  I don’t know

  haha there are only three kinds of ice cream nellie

  everyone knows that

  I see

  youve got a lot of lessons ahead of you nellie

  ICE CREAM LESSONS

  only we’re out of ice cream right now

  because we ate so much

  (at my birthday party)

  Miss Felicity -

  I must thank you for coming by last week to my hiding-place

  the biscuits and canteen you brought were sorely needed

  I know once I can enlist with the Patriots

  I will be a burden to you no longer

  I fear that before that day, however

  I must trespass on your kindness one last time

  and ask when you will return

  as the water you so kindly brought me

  ran out several days ago

  and I am afraid to venture forth in daylight

  and this fetid swamp provides me with no relief

  BEN

  BEN I’M GETTING A PONY

  I congratulate you, Miss Felicity

  that is wonderful news

  Perhaps

  perhaps it shall make the trip shorter

  when you do come again

  I will name her Penny!!!

  for I have grown weak from thirst

  She is the color of a penny

  is why I have chosen that name, Ben

  A good name, that

  I trust I can keep my strength up

  long enough to see her myself

  I am going to brush her mane EVERY DAY

  Harriet

  Addy.

  Mother wanted me to ask you

  if you’d like to go to the fair tomorrow with us

  Did she now

  since we’ll be working at the same booth together

  all afternoon

  Father’s offered to give us a ride in his wagon

  oh, his milk wagon?

  yes

  his milk wagon

  He only has the one wagon

  you know that

  Like father like daughter I suppose

  he only has one wagon

  and you only have one dress

  You can just say no, Harriet

  if you don’t want to come with us

  you can just say no

  Addy

  do you even know how many dresses I have

  I’m sorry if I insulted you with my invitation

  you don’t have to come

  Addy

  I have SEVEN dresses

  I have a dress for every day of the week

  I have a dress for Monday

  look

 
forget I said anything

  I’ll see you tomorrow

  I have a dress for Tuesday

  on Wednesday I have a different dress

  and on Thursday you have a fourth