Texts from Jane Eyre Page 7
the window is killing you?
it’s so terribly full of glass
I see
theres just glass all over it
i don’t know how you stand it
oh
I manage
i dont think ill make it through the night
well I’ll be here if you need me
and to think i once stepped outside the house
to stand in the sun
yes, I remember that day
what a strong and foolhardy girl i was then
dear Laurie
dearest Laurie
surely at this point you know
i can’t possibly marry you
i’m so sorry
please try to forgive me
Jo
of course I’ll respect your wishes
but why?
there’s no one who knows you better
i know that
we have such fun together
we do!
and you’re dear to me
and jolly
and clever
cleverer than me anyhow
and I
I do love you
most awfully, Jo
Laurie, I can’t
please don’t ask me again
I can’t help but ask
and I can’t give you any answer but no
all right
all right
Oh Meg, darling
it’s all over
Beth is with Father now
Jo, Father still isn’t dead
really?
I saw him not four hours ago
could have sworn he died at sea
or somewhere
Jo, I’m sorry about what I said the other day
I know how you feel about marriage
and — and everything
Oh, Laurie
that’s all right
you’ll never marry anyone
your writing is too important
that comes first
oh
I do admire you for that, really I do
you’re going to do tremendous things
that’s awfully kind of you to say
and I count myself lucky to know you
I do, Jo
we’ll be old bachelors together
you and I
well
ah
the thing is, chum
running a cattle ranch
somewhere out West
turns out I am going to be married after all
I’ve met someone, I mean
please understand I never intended to
he’s the most wonderful man
very old
much older than me
oh
he’s German
very German
so German it’s hard to understand him at first when he speaks
and you’re going to marry
him
with yourself
you’re going to be marrying him yourself I mean
his mustache is enormous
bushy and gray and covered in crumbs
all of him is covered in crumbs
he’s filthy haha
well that’s just
oh and he just hates my writing
criticizes my work unceasingly
I see
i really cannot overemphasize
how much he disapproves of my voice as a writer
wants me to change everything about it
well
how can I compete with that
exactly
please don’t blame yourself
Hamlet
Part V
darling I don’t mean to criticize but
you really hurt your father’s feelings last night
hes not my real dad
why do you even like him
Henry David Thoreau
im going to the woods ok
okay
im going to live deliberately
with essential facts
im going to suck all the marrow out of the trees
okay
so dont follow me
how long are you going?
i dont know
however long it takes to live deliberately
so maybe a few months
or maybe forever gonna live in a cabin
well
i’m happy for you
can i use your cabin
you want to live in my cabin?
well i dont have a cabin
i need to be self sufficient
so i need to use your cabin
hey do you mind if i have some friends over to the cabin
how’s it going out there
are you living deliberately
yeah pretty deliberately i guess
but its pretty boring out here without friends over
i guess so
as long as you keep things tidy
there’s not room for many other people
no for sure for sure for sure
just the alcotts
and the hawthornes
and ellery is already here
he is?
yeah he sleeps on the floor by me
plus people are always stopping by to see me
and my self sufficient cabin
you mean my self sufficient cabin
the self sufficient cabin
anyhow
i invited a lot of them to spend the night too
the more the merrier thats my motto
just me and the lonely whispering of the wind among the reeds
and also the alcotts and the hawthornes
and my best friend ellery
and anyone else who happens to come by
that’s
a lot of people
twenty five or thirty souls, with their bodies,
at once under my roof
give or take
hey do you want to come over
i just stole some pies
what
this lady just left out pies on her porch
so i took em
self sufficiently
i don’t think that’s very self sufficient
well i don’t think you’re very
shut up just come over
just come over to the damn woods
you know what i think are brave
what
minks
and muskrats
awfully brave
not like the great mass of mankind
what’s so brave about them
you wouldn’t understand
hey would you bring some more molasses if you’re coming back
tomorrow
im all out
how much molasses do you need
i dont know
obviously
clearly if id known from the beginning i wouldn’t need more now
so i guess “more” is the answer
why don’t you just come over
and you can get all the molasses you need
and you can stay in town for a few nights
i think maybe that would be a good idea
no way man
no way
your life is a hollow shell
no offense but id rather die than stay at your house
just bring the molasses when you come over tomorrow
and also some more shoes because i lost the last pair
and some books
and pens i need pens
but thats it
and a thing of beans
thats for sure it
do you know whos my family ralph
who
these squirrels
these squirrels and this chipmunk and that crow over there
the crow on the chimney?
NO
not that one
god i hate that one
hes not my family
hes a fucking asshole
&nb
sp; Daisy Miller
hey daisy
you look so good in that green dress today!!
so glad you’re wearing it
thank you!
quick question
were you going to wear it like
to dinner?
i was
Yes
or is it like
a “joke”
i thought maybe it was a joke
no
what makes you ask?
oh my god
no reason at allll
totally just asking
it looks so good on you
and i think you’re super brave for wearing it
brave?
why brave?
ahahahhahaha you are such a KIDDER
you and that green dress
not that i’d really call it a dress
see you at dinner!!!
see you and also i guess see that dress at dinner!!
The Island of Dr. Moreau
what do you think would happen
if you mixed a hyena and a man together
I
like mixed their bodies together I mean
what?
like if you cut them up and then smashed them together and then sewed them back up
I don’t know
what kind of a question is that
I bet a lot would happen
Daisy Miller
Part II
hi Daisy
hi
so I feel like I have to tell you something
normally I wouldn’t say anything but I feel like
we’re friends now
how kind of you
anyhow I just thought you should know
that there’s someone in Vevey going around impersonating you
some sort of…coquette
coquette?
what I mean is
last night Mrs. Sanders saw someone dressed just like you
having dinner
in a restaurant
is that all?
a restaurant with MALE waiters
oh
naturally I told her it couldn’t have been you
and that you’d sooner commit suicide
than eat dinner off a plate a male stranger had touched
that’s very kind of you
but I’m afraid it must have been me she saw
oh
you know in New York we eat dinner from all kinds of waiters
all the time
oh my god
how fun for you
New York sounds just
it just sounds
talk later
bye then
byyyye
Les Misérables
where are you?
I am so there
this barricade is going to be an absolute HAPPENING you guys
don’t start without me
i am on my way in like five minutes
Marius
I’m concerned that you don’t really understand
the reason for our movement
oh my god
what do you mean
I sometimes question your commitment to the cause
how could you possibly even question that
I don’t know, Marius
maybe it’s because you have missed every one of
our clashes with the police
because you were still studying for the bar
to bring down the system from within!
Marius
your father is a baron
He’s an actual baron
well
only a Napoleonic baron
that’s still a baron
well when you say it like that
how did i say it
i don’t know
it’s just how you said it
are you coming or not?
i’m definitely so much coming for sure
quick question
can i bring my girlfriend
oh my god
she’s totally into barricades
it’ll be great
you’ll love her
her dad was in jail so
she totally gets it if you know what i mean
like THE STRUGGLES
wait or he’s a cop
I can’t remember
he definitely has been to a jail
either as a cop or a jail guy
haha prisoner
“jail guy”
ANYHOW
on my way rn
oh hold up do you guys want me to bring anything??
Marius
could you
in your own words
explain what we are fighting for, do you think?
just as a favor to me
haha what a goofy question
ya goof
for the REVOLUTION
yes exactly
but could you list for me
one or two of the revolution’s goals
or aims
to
rise up
right right
that is in a broad sense the goal of all revolutions
can you be even the slightest bit more specific
um
the right to work
no
the right to stop working
nobody has too many jobs
something about jobs
annnd voting??
it’s the Huguenots
no
ugghh um um um
there’s too much bread
everyone’s sick of bread
oh my god
Napoleon’s back
Napoleon took everyone’s bread
I swear to god I so know this
marius where are you
i am at the barricade with your note
sorry new phone who is this
it’s eponine
ohhhhh heyy babe
i’m out rn
buying bracelets for cosette
so i can’t really talk
ah
can you just hang tight there for a while
if i can find shelter from the bullets
awesome
hey which bracelet do you think cosette would like better
the one with diamonds
or the one with diamonds PLUS rubies
hey babe
cosette
babe
hi
what does your dad do
like
for jail
what?
i mean like
your dad was in jail right
he’s like a revolutionary or a murderer or something
no
shit
i guess that was someone else
someone else?
oh my god babe not like that
i just mean someone else’s dad must have gone to jail
he did go to jail
oh right on
right on
that’s right on for sure
but not for murder
oh awesome
my parents will be so relieved
Enjolras will be bummed though
oh babe while i have you
would you rather honeymoon on the Riviera
or just like, hot-air balloon around the world
I hadn’t thought about it
should we make any decisions before the revolution?
mmm probably not
let’s just say PROBABLY hot-air balloon around the world
but see what happens first
w/r/t revolutions
topple that damned Louis XVI!!!
that already happened
what
we already toppled Louis XVI
in the first revolution
in the 1700s
wait so do we not do a king anymore like at all
there’s a different king now
what’s his name
Louis-Philippe
oh my go
d how many guys named Louis are there
no wonder there’s a revolution
OH
babe
do you want to come to the revolution with me??
it might be lame but we can bail whenever
and there’s something going on after I know about
so we can just stop by